Supports

I've been thinking a lot lately.

From the small problems to big problems in my life.

Was feeling very down last sunday,

the stress i have had been pile up to an extent, suffocated me badly,

you may wonder what had cause me to be so stress,

love? academic? family problems?

i would say academic plays the main role,

i don't have any confidence to not let myself repeat in this new sem, 

i'm doubting my abilities,

been telling myself for thousand times that i'll be ok, i can do it,

but without people supporting me, i can't do it, 

Remembered those days when i was a participant in akltg, 

being supported by a group of friends that i knew only for 4 days,

Remembered how i went through the swinging log with their supports,

That moment, when i stood on the swinging log, looking at the red bull eye,

imagined my goals, i knew i can pass through it,

That moment, i felt that i'm awesome,

no matter how many times i fall, i still able to stood up immediately,

continue my path with no doubt,

That moment, i knew i can do it with friends supporting me,

telling me to get back up and continue.

Until now, i still remember.

With those supports, magically, i feel like a brand new person,

going through it without shedding a single tears, 

Supports,

i really need it badly in this reality world,

I need someone to support me truly and sincerely,

I might sound like a little kid who need help , but hell

i'm still a human, 

I do need supports.

that's how i gained my strength.

Thanks for dear to support me all these while, 

Without you, i don't think i will survive in AS until now, 

supporting me each and every day,

telling me the same thing again and again,

it really helps me a lot.

Things are getting better with your presence,

at least i know you will back me up every time i fall.

Once again, thanks a lot my dear.

Confusion

It takes me ages to start my 2nd post, not because of having a busy and boring uni life but yet just don't know how to express my feelings in words.
Time flies fast, I had start my degree course 2 months ago and i didn't even know what I'm learning until now, is not that I don't understand what they say, is just the matter of interest in it.
Before I start my degree, many people had told me that actuarial science is not easy as we thought and hardly to get a job in the future but I still refuse to listen the advise that people gave me , as usual the stubborn me.

Deep in my heart I knew that there is a will there is a way, no matter how difficult it is , I will still put my 100% in it. But now I realise that it is just a matter of passion. After I start my semester 1 , I just feel that I do not have any passion in it, I've been dreaming in the class and feel that I'm wasting my time.

Practically, I'm a person who LOVE about food, seriously , I can be very excited when I'm talking about food, at first I thought of taking nutritionist course but due to the financial problems that I encounter ,I choose to give up on this . I should realise earlier, actuarist isn't what I want to be in the future, I want to get involve in food and health industry , is it too late to change ? people would say is never too late to change but I need to consider a lot of issues.

This really driving me crazy , every night I can't stop thinking of this, I need some advises from you people, whoever read this pls drop me some comment, kay?